Most conflict seems to occur when context is absent. I don’t think you understand my perspective…you don’t really understand why this is important to me…Don’t you see what I see? What was he thinking? What did he mean by that?
Most of the time, what our reactions are communicating, during a conflict, is that we don’t fully understand the context in which the person with whom we’ve got conflict is approaching the same problem we are. Conflict is rarely about the actual content of the issue you’re facing, it usually surfaces around the misunderstanding of the other’s perspective and context.
As leaders, two critical things that can significantly reduce, diffuse and shorten conflict with those we lead:
1) Spend enough time with your team so they understand your heart behind your approach to problems
2) Spend an extra minute or two, BEFORE communicating your concerns, frustrations, or directives, and communicate the CONTEXT in which you are approaching the issue.
If they get your heart, and they can understand your context in which you’re trying to resolve the issue or attack the problem, it’ll diffuse a lot of grey and ambiguity around motives, and bring clarity to what’s really important. When values are clear, choices are easy.
